I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
