if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
