She said her name was "party"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
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