I CAN MOONWALK!
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
