He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
