I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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