nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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