i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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