I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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