I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
