I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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