forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
