The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
