Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
