drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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