She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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