i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Randomize
