sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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