69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
That accounts for only three of the penises
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
