I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
