Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
