My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
