Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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