whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
