he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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