I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just high enough for therapy.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
