He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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