you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Are we still banned from the library?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize