Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
not ubering you a puppy
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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