I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Pants are for mortals
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize