bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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