I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
