THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
