Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
