And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize