got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
