dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
