Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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