the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
