I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
