i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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