So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
