A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
