We won't sleep together?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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