she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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