How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
