Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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