gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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