Cold hands, warm shart.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
so much tequila, so little girl.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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