I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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