Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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