jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
