grandma shit on top of the toilet
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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