You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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