Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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