who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
