is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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