Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
