i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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