You just made me feel so damn special
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
