I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
