she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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